1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV) 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
This verse is one of the most recited verses at weddings and why shouldn’t it be; Paul really breaks down for us what love looks like. All newlyweds, and us not so newlyweds, should lean upon these verses as we encounter the daily struggles of married life. Still, these verses were not intended to be an instructional guide for how to show love to your spouse but rather how we as Christians should be with others, especially with our brothers and sisters in the church.
Paul was dealing with a lot of issues in the church at Corinth. These issues included but not limited to sexual immorality (to include incest), abuses of the Lord’s Supper, jockeying for power in the church, misuses and over emphasizing spiritual gifts, just to name a few. Still one of the biggest problems was how in all this the church members were treating each other. Throughout Paul’s letter is addressing the issue of the lack of compassion shown for each other by those in the church (more like churches; for Corinth seemed to have a network of house churches) but comes to his fullest argument against the Corinthians in his explanation of love. Let’s take a moment and look at Paul’s call for love when responding to others.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV) 4 Love is patient, love is kind… We live in a fast-paced society, our daily schedules jammed pack with work, kids’ school activities, errands to run and much more. This, of course, makes us edgy, overstressed and overwhelmed. No wonder why this part of love is so hard to do. We don’t have time or the mindset to be kind and/or patient. Yet it is in our kindness that we show Christ and in our patience that we show those around us their importance and value. If we want to lead people to Christ today, I think showing these two aspects of love will show others something different in us and open the door for us to build a relationship of mutual respect that will lead to us having the ability to share who Christ is to others.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV). This section of the passage deals with putting ourselves over others. Love is about the other person, not what I can get from them (manipulation). When Christ came and died for us, He wasn’t thinking about himself. Jesus knew our need and put it first. To be Christ like, we must put others and their needs first so that we show the love that was given to us to those who need it.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 At the heart of love is forgiveness. God is a forgiving God. From the very start when Adam and Eve fell in the garden God has been reaching out with his grace to restore us and our relationship. Anger, resentment and unforgiveness is toxic for the soul. They keep us lock down in misery whereas forgiveness out of love frees us and allows for joy to enter in our lives. If you are holding on to a grudge right now, let go, forgive and move on in the love of your Lord.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. There is nothing evil about authentic love. When love is authentic, it does not try to hide or deceive. Love when authentic will support, will believe and will keep those who are in it from the ways of the flesh. If we truly love, it will build up those around us and seek to do nothing that harms others.
Finally, Paul tells us that love never fails. In church we tend to forget or ignore this fact. Yes, love should be accompanied by truth (no one would ever know about sin and it’s effect in their lives if not told the truth) yet with no love, our truth looks more like us being judgmental versus caring. Paul wants the church to understand that no spiritual gift, no position in the church, nothing in the church is more important than love. Love never fails and it won’t fail us if we act out of love with everyone we meet. Pastor Mart.

Proverbs 12:18 18 The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me.  This was the phrase we might have cited when we were kids when we were being attacked with mean and hurtful words. The problem with this often-quoted saying is that it’s not true. Like Proverbs 12:18 says, “the words of the reckless pierce like swords…” The wounds of our words and the words others use against us run deep. This is true for the kid on the playground and it’s true for us as adults today.

In America today, it seems that the word civility is being thrown out the window as we jump on to our social media platform of choice and blast those who stand on the opposite side of our beliefs. No longer do we listen, discuss or are even be willing to agree to disagree.  At the first opportunity today it is about how we can bully the other person to win or at least discredit (sometimes disparage) our enemy. Enemy is a strong word, but in this day and age, it truly speaks to growing gap of competing ideas in our country today (i.e. Republican/Democrat, Conservative/liberal, Christian/insert any other group etc.). It’s not listen first, but yell first and loudest until the other is drowned out.  No wonder Christians today are poorly viewed by other groups because we are no different than the other side.

We can’t change them by harsh and hurtful words or by thinking that using their same tactic against them is justified because it is not (Check out Matthew 5:38,39).  If we are truly children of God, we will be peacemakers and it starts with our words.

Proverbs 12:18 says, “but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Really healing in our nations is going to come when we as Christians stop forcing our beliefs on others, mocking our enemies on social media and finding our real alliance is to Christ, not a cause or stand. Christ came to heal and forgive; that was His mission, His purpose, so should it be ours. We should be smart with our words, use words that bring people together, not tear apart.

So how do we do this, where do we start? It begins with a heart check, listening to ourselves and what we say. What are we saying to our spouse, parents, friends, neighbors, strangers and even those who are opposed to our way of thinking? What are we posting and responding to on social media outlets, are we choosing words or being reckless?  Invite the Holy Spirit to help us by convicting our hearts when we don’t use the kindest of words.

Second comes confession and repentance. When we take inventory of our words and with the Holy Spirit’s help we begin to see where in our lives we have been reckless.  Confession helps us to realize how we have fallen short and how we need God’s grace for change.  God cannot only help us to not use hurtful language, but deal with the deeper pain, anger, frustration, etc. that causes us to be reckless in our use of our words.

Finally comes the part of doing.  This means we listen to the Holy Spirit’s prompting and choose our words wisely. “Let no filthy talk be heard from your mouths, but only what is good for building up people and meeting the need of the moment. This way you will administer grace to those who hear you.” Ephesians 4:29. 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.” As we choose our words wisely our words will become a source of healing, a building up, an avenue for grace rather than a vehicle our hurt and destruction.  Pastor Mart.